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  • Writer's pictureJon Watkins

Key West- The Lobster Roll That Never Was

Updated: Dec 10, 2021

If you got to Key West, you need to get a Lobster Roll from The Lobster Shack. That's what everyone will tell you. But, after waiting in a long line to try a roll, Jon dropped the delicious hoagie before Jenn even had a bite! And there's no five-second-rule in Key West. Trust us.

There is so much to do on this tiny island. From the moment you land (and you land HARD, because the runway is so short), you can walk/bike/take a conch train around to explore. Make sure to go to Sloppy Joes, The Ernest Hemmingway House and if you're adventurous enough...Garden of Eden.

Transcript from our podcast:

Jon: Okay over there? Second pour before the show,

Jen: You know, I need liquid courage.

Jon: I Know. Courage with wine.

Jen: Whatever judgey Mack judgey over here.

Jon: Welcome to ours savings starts tomorrow. I'm Jon, my wife, Jen's in charge of the booze. And we do a little travel podcast where we just share with you adventures, stories of our different travels--

Jen: Mishaps.

Jon: --Definitely A lot of mishaps. And hopefully along the way, you learn a few travel tips or things not to do and, you know, go from there. What are you drinking?

Jen: I'm having the A-To-Z Chardonnay.

Jon: Ah, yes. The a to Z Chardonnay Portland? No,

Jen: Yes,

Jon: Yes? You sure?

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: We're going to do Portland sometime

Jen: Yep. Because we've been to this winery.

Jon: Yeah.

Jon: So, maybe we'll do that, but we can talk voodoo donuts and all the other stuff, but that has nothing to do with what we're doing today.

Jen: Definitely not.

Jon: We're going to tell you all about Key West, but first just a big, thank you to our latest podcast reviews. So, me new ones came in this week--

Jen: I know.

Jon: -- So, it was nice to see

Jen: You guys actually did tell two friends.

Jon: Yeah.

Jen: That was awesome. Do it again?

Jon: Yeah, exactly. What will you get your family to do it?

Jen: I know.

Jon: What is going on here? Like we are a and pop podcast that is fighting against the Joe Rogan's of the world to do our own thing here and no one in your family. No one.

Jen: I know they can't figure it out.

Jon: It's not hard. They're listening on apple--

Jen: I know.

Jon: -- I mean you can listen to this podcast, you know, on Spotify and everywhere, but Apple's the one that does the--

Jon: Ratings.

Jen: --Reviews.

Jon: All you have to do is click the five stars.

Jen: I know

Jen: I will I'll try to get them[crosstalk01:30].

Jon: I expected your 90-year-old grandma, not to be able to figure it out.

Jen: Oh no, she probably would be able to figure it out

Jon: She's the only one who shares it on Facebook. So, if you have reviewed, thank you so much. And if you followed us on Instagram in this past week, that's been climbing as well. And our Instagram is the same title as this podcast you're listening to, which is our savings starts tomorrow. Alright Key West.

Jen: Key West.

Jon: First of all, landing in Key West.

Jen: Oh my gosh, that's an experience.

Jon: Yeah, it’s a --

Jen: And you've been there twice. So, both times was it like this?

Jon: Yeah, both times I had a pilot come on and warn us about the Key West runway.

Jen: You know what I loved about it though. The pilot who was like, I'm a retired Air Force pilot. And I'm like, yeah, you are. You're a baddie

Jon: And he's like, just so you know, I used to fly on an aircraft and that's what it's like landing here in Key West. I'm going slam it down hard, bam, we'll be done.

Jen: Yep.

Jon: It’s like Rock and roll.

Jen: I know.

Jon: And I hate to fly. But as soon as he told me that, I felt like he swaddled me and gave me a little Binky. And I was completely fine landing. First of all, knowing that he was a retired Air Force pilot, and then just how he described it. He was landing on aircraft carriers--

Jen: Then you can do this.

Jon: --So, Bubba taking out a mission--

Jen: Right.

Jon: --Yeah, both times. So, that is the one thing is, when you land at Key West, it's a slam because they have to stop the aircraft--

Jen: So, quick; it's a short runway

Jon: --It's beautiful because you're landing where it's just like crystal clear blue water and you can actually see, you know, sometimes like sharks, swimming around or you--

Jen: I don't remember seeing that.

Jon: --Oh you didn’t get that. Maybe I did, or I was pounding few too many either way. Pretty sure that happened. And the airport itself at Key West, it's quaint, it’s cute.

Jen: It is a small airport. --

Jon: Its teeny tiny.

Jen: -- Like everything else in Key West

Jon: We'll run down--

Jen: Just small.

Jon: --I would love to actually do the drive from like Miami. --

Jen: Yes.

Jon: -- Across all the keys

Jen: I hear that you should do it once. You definitely don't need to do it more than once. But I hear doing a once is cool.

Jon: So, it's like the road to Hana?

Jen: Yes.

Jon: The road to Hana is like one of those things also you do it once--

Jen: Do it once.

Jon: -- So, you can say you did it

Jen: And then never do it again.

Jon: Never speak of it again. I've had friends who have done it and I know there's like little restaurants you can stop along the way

Jen: Like little chotskies stores and stuff like that. And like, you know, you see those like pictures of Florida and those long bridges, like, it'd be so cool to go down one of those. --

Jon: Yeah exactly.

Jen: --It's a long journey though. Isn't it?

Jon: I wanna say six hours--

Jen: I don’t know if that’s right.

Jon: --I have to look that up, it actually is a three-day journey.

Jen: No, I don't think so.

Jon: `No gas stations--

Jen: We should really do more research.

Jon: I'll tell you what I did do research on. The nudey bar that they have there at Key West.

Jen: Well, because you did some personal research there

Jon: I don’t mean nudey bar as in like where you're throwing dollar bills at the stage--

Jen: No, this is just a clothing optional bar.

Jon: You know, they say that a lot of pervs up there. No one's taking off their clothes.

Jen: I was not taking off my clothes/.

Jon: No one was. Every time I go, I've sampled the place... by the way, it's called the Garden of Eden. And the Garden of Eden is actually above another bar in Key West. It's very famous. Everyone knows about it. I don't think there's really signage for the Garden of Eden. You'll have to look on your phone. They don't really brag about it. But once you walk into the bar, which is called like the bull and horns or something, and then you walk up these stairs to get to the top and I will tell you the one thing, make sure your phones put away at this point.

Jen: --They'll take it from you right?

Jon: Oh yeah, yeah, they are not messing around. I mean, they want it to be where everyone can feel comfortable. If they are going to get nude, no one will be naked there. You'll see a few people in some bras. --

Jen: Okay.

Jon: --So, me people like some dudes will be wearing their boxer shorts. And there'll be one old naked man sitting at the bar.

Jen: Oh,

Jon: Every time, every single time,

Jen: So, does he like leave his clothes, like by the door?

Jon: I don't know where his clothes are and I don't know how they sanitize the stool after he sits on it.

Jen: Oh, that would be interesting.

Jon: Yeah. I don't know if it's really something I care that much about finding out.

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: Just don't sit anywhere.

Jen: Maybe you should just like stand.

Jon: Yeah, I did. We did

Jen: Yeah, we did stand, but also were wearing clothes

Jon: You just go there; you have a drink. You say you went to this clothing optional bar and you move on, right? Yeah. Key West as a whole is not big.

Jen: No tiny.

Jon: You can ride your bike around or you can walk.

Jen: Yeah. We pretty much did

Jon: Yeah. but there's so much to do in this tiny area and yeah, there are bars and we went to a bunch of those, but besides that, there's like the Ernest Hemingway home--

Jen: Yeah, that was really cool.

Jon: --The museum. Yeah, where there's cats just everywhere.

Jen: Did he love... I can't remember did he love cats?

Jon: I assume that he was a crazy cat lady.

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: I don't remember the story; They tell it to you.

Jen: I know; But there were cats... the place is overrun with cats --

Jon: Everywhere.

Jen: There's a ton of cats and then also there's like shrines for --

Jon: Cats that died.

Jen: Cats that have died

Jon: Remember in our London podcast where we talked about how those --

Jen: The Ravens.

Jon: --Yeah, the Raven cemetery. It's kind of that weird with the cat graves that are around the Ernest Hemingway house.

Jen: But it’s a museum and it's cool. And you can... like, he actually lived there.

Jon: He wrote 70% of his writings at this place.

Jen: Yeah, right is a cool... like, you should definitely go there.

Jon: And they do tours, I want to say it was like every 15 minutes they kept on going, but there was always a crowd--

Jen: Always a crowd, yeah.

Jon: It is the place people go to. There’re two big places I think like, there's that home and then there's the Harry S Truman little White House.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: And this was the winter White House for Truman. So, when he was president, this is where he went--

Jen: His Mar-a-Lago?

Jon: --Yeah, exactly. And it has like all of his old furniture in there and the phones. And as you walk around, there's plaques, like he sat here as he took the call from the chancellor of Germany or whatever, like it's something to do and you get to be like, oh, I've never been to the white house, but I've been to the little White house.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: Yeah.

Jen: The winter White house

Jon: And right down the street from there is the Southernmost point.

Jen: Well, yeah, you've got to go to the Southernmost Point.

Jon: So, this is of not just of Key West. This is of all of the United States, the Southernmost point --

Jen: The closest point to Cuba.

Jon: Yeah, you can see Cuba on a clear day if you know, the sky is working for you and your [inaudible08:04] Okay. but it's this big colorful buoy and there's a line. --

Jen: Yeah, to take a photo.

Jon: Yeah, yeah, yeah but you get to take a great photo--

Jen: You got to take a photo there.

Jon: And then what you do is you go to the store that's right next to it. And they have Christmas ornaments of said buoy --

Jen: Which we have.

Jon: Yeah, we do.

Jen: You will pay $25 for said ornament, but worth it.

Jon: And then as you go back into town, you'll actually find that every store has this ornament as well--

Jen: For much cheaper.

Jon: Right. But you know, you've got the one closest to... You got the Southernmost ornament--

Jen: You got the Southernmost point ornament. So, it's All good.

Jon: Also next to the ornament stand.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: Do you remember the guy?

Jen: Yes.

Jen: I do remember the guy.

Jon: This guy opened coconuts.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: Did you have to bring your coconut or did he have coconut?

Jen: No, he had coconuts there...

Jon: Okay, it wasn't like a, bring your coconut --

Jen: Bring your own coconut.

Jon: So, you would BYOC and this guy had a nub, like he had his... two of his fingers were more like a nub

Jen: Probably from opening coconuts.

Jon: Well once you see how he did it, because you would pay him and he would just start smacking with these two fingers the coconut until it popped not the fingers, the coconut, and then he would put a straw in it and you could drink out of it.

Jen: Yeah... It's a really nice hangover.

Jon: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jen: For someone who enjoys coconut juice or milk, I don't know out of the actual coconut, especially when they are hung over, I recommend it.

Jon: Yea it really [inaudible09:38].

Jen: And it was like done by a local.

Jon: Yeah. It's cool. Another way to get around Key West is by the Key West conch tour train. It's fine.

Jen: Yeah. You could also rent bikes. There's a ton of bikes--

Jon: I would do that.

Jen: --I'm kind of anti-bike, you know that, but--

Jon: It was an easy way to get around everywhere

Jen: --It is an easy way to get around, but there's like people in cars and I just, you know, cyclists annoy me.

Jon: It’s also hot and sweaty Key West is just fun but its sticky. --

Jen: It is.

Jon: -- Those chickens that will come out of nowhere.

Jen: There's a ton of chicken.

Jon: The Chickens will attack you. If you're not paying attention, you gotta be on high alert at all times. So, look out for the cars and---

Jen: Where do those chickens go during a hurricane?

Jon: They all stay at the Ernest Hemingway home.

Jen: Oh, that makes sense. And then the cats and the chickens--

Jon: They get along.

Jen: Yea okay interesting

Jon: Yeah, and then one of the biggest places that people go to is Duvall Street. Duvall street is like the New Orleans of Key West. It's the party vibe, party, central

Jen: So, many bars and restaurants, everything--

Jon: Everywhere Including some of the bars, like the smallest bar in Key West, it's like someone dug out just part of a wall. It's only as wide as three stools. And there's a bartender back there, but I will tell you cheapest shots in town. So, if you spend too much on Christmas ornaments, that's where you want to go

Jen: There you'd go. If you can get a seat.

Jon: Yeah, that's the hard thing someone's always kind of like planted up right there. And then another famous bar is Sloppy Joe's. Sloppy Joe's is like the most popular tourist bar. You got to go there. It was Ernest Hemingway's favorite bar. Kids can go, I didn't remember seeing any kids there, but I wasn’t looking,

Jen: Yeah. I don't remember seeing children there either.

Jon: What was the photo that you just pulled up on your phone of this. what is this?

Jen: Oh, the beer. We drink a lot of this Key West beer.

Jon: There was a Key West beer?

Jen: You don't remember? Oh my gosh, you had too much Key West beer. Yes.

Jon: That’s why I had a coconut every day. --

Jen: Yes, Florida beer Key West

Jon: Oh, I love the bottle, we'll put that up on our Instagram page. Yeah. It looks like I had fun. I do remember the lobster roll --

Jen: Oh gosh.

Jon: --From the upstairs shack.

Jen: This story angers me so Much.

Jon: Why? Why does it anger you? What did I do?

Jen: That's all you would talk about is how you really wanted this lobster roll because someone else was talking about the lobster roll and they were describing it in such detail that your mouth was watering for like months. And you're like, we're going to go there and we're going to get this lobster roll and I can't wait and oh my gosh, we're going to get it. And it has to be from this specific place,

Jon: Yea the Lobster shack. That's where it has to be from.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: And we waited in that long line just to get this lobster roll.

Jen: Yeah. It's like on a buttery toast and then all this lobster meat, --

Jon: Huge amount.

Jen: -- tons of lobster meat in there. Yeah.

Jon: It's amazing. And it’s expensive

Jen: [crosstalk/inaudible12:21] butter on there.

Jon: $25, $30 for this thing. --

Jen: Worth it.

Jon: Yeah. You take a bite and it's like, I'll give you another $30. So, we walk away and we're celebrating the fact that we made it. We got to the Lobster Shack and we're going to eat this thing and then be sick afterwards. I talk with my hands, side note. And it's been known from time to time as I talk with my hands, if there's something in my hand, I will drop it as I continue to talk with my hands. So, I was chatting with you and I was talking with my hands and the next thing you know, the delicious lobster roll two bites in was on the floor

Jen: The floor

Jon: And then cats were eating it immediately.

Jen: Yes.

Jon: And the line was so long.

Jen: We could not go back.

Jon: We weren't going to go back.

Jen: Honestly, I don't even know if I had had a bite of it.

Jon: Oh, I did. It was great. You know, I think I took a bite. I went to tell you and describe to you how good it was. --

Jen: Yes, before handing it to me. And then you're flailing your arms around like a freak of nature. And then just, --

Jon: I know,

Jen: --And there's no five second rule,

Jon/Jen: No

Jen: A lot of Dirty hippies in Key West,

Jon: Yeah, it’s like where the seventies went --

Jen: To die.

Jon: It feels like... I remember back, like when we were kids in the eighties and they would turn on like the kid shows it was all... It was like the hippies from the seventies, all singing like [inaudible13:46] rinky. Do you know that song?

Jen: Yes.

Jon: The elephant show is that it was. The cast of the elephant show. I'm pretty sure it lives if they're still alive in Key West. It's those type of people.

Jen: Yeah. just no shoes, --

Jon: No.--

Jen: No hairbrush,

Jon: No. Naked on Friday nights--

Jen: Naked?

Jen: At the Garden [inaudible14:02]

Jon: We did eat though, a key lime pie.

Jen: [inaudible14:11] got to have a key lime pie in Key West--

Jon: Right.

Jen: -- Its delicious--

Jon: It was great.

Jen: Yep.

Jon: We had it like a three in the morning.

Jen: Yep.

Jon: But I'm sure it was fantastic.

Jen: I mean, I don't totally remember it, but I think it was good.

Jon: Then we did go to a restaurant actually for breakfast that we love that you really should go check out. It's called a Salute.

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: And it's right on the beach.

Jen: Yeah. They have tables on the beach, which I love that.

Jon: There's something about it that seems great to me. But then when I'm out there, I don't enjoy it as much.

Jen: We went super early, well we're early people. So, honestly, we, we were there with like a group of people and I think we were the first ones up every day, --

Jon: Oh yeah.

Jen: -- Even though we were partaking in some Key West beers. And so, we got there super early, like there wasn't a wait or anything by the time we left, there was a wait. --

Jon: Yeah, it was packed.

Jen: --But it's also like so much hotter, so much more humid. I don’t know if we would have enjoyed it, if we would have, you know, had breakfast at you know a normal time.

Jon: Here's my problem with eating out on the sand, you have a walk on the sand. It is hard. It's a cardio workout just to get to my table. I was already sweating and huffing and puffing. I just, to me, it's too much.

Jen: You only had to just go to your table and sit down.

Jon: That table felt like an obstacle course to get by--

Jen: Well, you're not a server there.

Jon: Oh yeah, they really had to work it.

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: Yeah. So, Salute we salute you. All right. That's Key West on episode short much like the island, but thanks for listening to it. And downloading and subscribing, like Jen said at the beginning, tell a friend,

Jen: Tell two friends.

Jon: Yeah, exactly.

Jen: Yeah.

Jon: Get the word out for us.

Jen: And then tell your grandma to rate us just like, I'm going to tell my grandma to do

Jon: Even if you won't rate us your grandma will cause that's what grandmas do.

Jen: That's what they do, do

Jon: Exact...they do, do. And again, our Instagram it's our savings starts tomorrow.

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